letterwishes

Dear NaNa, You always said you wanted to live just long enough to see me get married. I never told you, but my plan was to never marry so that you would never die. As soon as I became engaged you started calling Richard your grandson and that meant the world to both of us. While our wedding was only 7 months after PaPa left us, you danced at our wedding with such joy that I never thought I’d see in you again. When I became pregnant you said, “I’m just waiting for that baby.” We called you from the delivery room to tell you about you’re one and only (granddaughter) giving birth to Tali, whom you called “Dolly,” and that she was. I treasure the memories of those Wednesdays when you took care of her with Sia’s help. When I came to pick her up after work it was clear that she had made your day and I felt comforted knowing you would sleep well that night. It was right after you held Tali that you collapsed, and that was the last time I saw you awake. It’s been 6 years and I still miss you so much that it hurts. Recently I was driving and for no particular reason I had this overwhelming feeling of your presence. Shortly after you died I was holding Tali at your house. She seemed to be looking over my shoulder at something and smiling. When I looked in the same direction there was nothing there. No one will ever convince me that you weren’t there smiling at her. It breaks my heart that you aren’t here to see her and her brother Charlie. You’d be so happy at how well they napped when they were younger and how much they eat! I think about that every time I feed them. NaNa, we are doing okay here without you, but still miss you terribly. I’m so glad that all eight great grandchildren got to swim in your pool, but you only got to have conversations with 4 of them. Wherever you are I hope you know how much you’ve meant to all of us. It comes as no surprise that we, your grandchildren adored you, but our spouses adored you too and never thought of you as anything but their NaNa. Please continue to visit me in my dreams. I always wake up from them feeling as though I have just spoken to you and then you are never very far away. I love you. Love, Your one and only